well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
