omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
