i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Holy shit dude........stairs
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