whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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