You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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