No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
