it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
