return my video game
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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