I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
did i just pee glitter
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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