I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
