It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
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