i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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