he looks like a really good dad on facebook
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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