Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
