What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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