I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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