McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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