I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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