and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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