weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize