Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
