elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
