i permit you to call me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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