shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
please don't ironically join a cult
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