I met the friendliest cop last night
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
