The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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