Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
