Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
