i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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