I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Actions speak louder than pants.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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