Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What a dumb baby whore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
