You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
