We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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