Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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