I swear she didn't look like that last week.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
