yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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