i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
