I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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