That's intense
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
