Nicole vs. Life
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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