Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
