How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
