She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i came on her dog
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
