Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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