420 ftw
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we're making bets on your personal life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
