I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We need to get me chipped asap
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
