I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
