i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
