I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
