Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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