Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
