I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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