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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night

  (631): View more from New York

  U should. Its a good ice breaker

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  of course. lets lasso hookers.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now

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