she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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