Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
