We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
