I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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