My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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