Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
