I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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