last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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