Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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