i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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