Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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