haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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