Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
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some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
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It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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