So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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