It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
