There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
