I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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