You work out of a Hotel?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
