I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
